-less or -free?

Whoa there, army baby.

I had the delight of attending another variety of spouse orientation today, the fourth in the six months I've been married and militar-ied.  While such orientations tend to have at least one highlight (i.e. learning to seal an infant into a chemical warfare suit) many tend to give variations of the same information rather drily. Part of my boredom is my lack of children- today I estimated that a good 1/3 of the orientation wasn't  applicable to me as a spouse with no kids.

Now, I totally get that the vast majority of military folk have kids- if you're going to, the benefits of having rugrats inside vs. outside the military support system is incomparable. I love the kiddos, but in the military it seems that not having any makes you immediately suspect. I was asked THE WEEK AFTER WE GOT MARRIED by my hubs' commander when we were going to start popping them out. Another military friend was assumed to be barren when she and her husband of two years kept the family to just them. It's just weird, mostly. Many military families can make an instant connection through their kids and not having any requires you be more resourceful to find compatible friends (and keep them when many families have schedules dictated by school, sports and the like).

This train of thought got me to googling, which turned up this interesting article about being sans kiddos in the military. While a bit more aggressive than I'd write, it seemed fairly neutral, especially as I continued to search for other points of view. This search confirmed my nagging suspicion that using either the terms "child-less" or "child-free" hold some serious emotional charges (being incomplete, purposeless without parenting v. being smart or lucky enough not to have to deal with the screaming messes).  I stumbled upon a heated debate of a blogging dad who posted an ironic ad for his kids and at least one "child free" blog who heartily agreed with the post, with some commenters getting so riled up as to refer to parents disdainfully as "breeders."

While I find both extremes ridiculous, it seems hard to find a middle ground and a neutral term. Do I have to describe myself as either joyfully escaping parenthood or sadly without children? Child-neutral? Adultly-gifted? Undecided? For now I'll just keep answering, "Nope, no kids. I teach plenty" and carry on.


Vocab of the day:
Korean: 아이들 (ah-ee-dil) = children
Military: dependent= family member of active duty servicemember