Tiny traveling shoes

After many years, we're now on a new adventure- sharing here! We're newly learning about cleft needs and challenges, and after being fortunate to be able to learn from other gracious families, I wanted to share the informational email/post we sent out to our friends and family.

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By now you likely know that we are expecting a little one in November, who we've dubbed BuMP for now. :)

While we know that there'll be a lot we'll learn about him after he's born, we did get a heads up on an early diagnosis of unilateral left-side cleft lip and palate (or CLP) which we discovered in my 20-week ultrasound (wow modern medicine!). About one in 700 babies are born with a cleft lip and/or palate, which is over 6,000 babies in the US annually, making it the most common birth defect. The cause(s) of cleft is not definitively known but likely some mixture of chance and genetics, and it's unlikely we could have done anything different to avoid it. We are fortunate that in our case, this appears to be unrelated to any other more complicated genetic or midline deformity issues which can accompany cleft, so we expect him to be otherwise completely healthy.

• What will this mean for BuMP? All signs point to kiddo being just fine long-term and not even remembering he had a cleft by the time he's a few years old. The first year will likely be tough for mom and dad, as the first few months he'll probably struggle to eat enough and may have trouble with his ears, sinuses and nose (since missing parts of a palate mean food/liquids are going to go where they otherwise shouldn't). However, medical care has advanced so much that the cleft is unlikely to affect him having a healthy, normal childhood (or as normal as it will be with his two weirdos for parents:).

• What does treatment look like? We are incredibly lucky to be right next to one of the best hospitals for treating cleft- Seattle Children's Hospital (SCH). Based on our prenatal consultation, the traditional treatment is two surgeries in the first year. Kiddo's first surgery to close the gap in his lip will likely be at about six months of age (probably May 2020), and the second to close the palate will likely be around his first birthday (probably November 2020). Before his first surgery, he is likely to need a NAM, similar to an orthodontic appliance that is kept in pace with tape- this will be visible in photos. The NAM appliance helps shape the nose/palate/sinus tissue so that surgery goes more smoothly and healing is sped up. (Info on the NAM appliance: https://www.seattlechildrens.org/clinics/craniofacial/services/nam) Surgery timeline is dependent on doctors/surgeons getting a better look once he's born, and after the first year doctors will advise on any additional surgeries needed in his elementary, middle school and high school years to address any needs with speech, dental quirks, hearing, etc.

• What can I do to help? Largely, we just need your love and support. Families who have a kiddos with cleft say the first year can be particularly hard with feeding challenges, surgeries and recovery. We may reach out for extra support around surgeries especially with meals, kind words, or helping hands. If you have questions about cleft, the NAM, his surgeries or anything about the process, please feel free to ask. Also know the parents may need a break from talking about it and may defer to answering at a later time. This isn't because we don't want to share with you, but because we're likely to get a lot of questions and it may get emotionally taxing to both care for baby and help educate our community. There's also a lot to learn on the internet about cleft if you do some googling on reputable medical sites!

• Where can I learn more? The CDC, Mayo Clinic, and Cleft Lip and Palate Association have been great resources for us.
• My first stop would be here: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/cleftlip.html
• I also really appreciate this blog post geared toward parents who just got a diagnosis https://thestorybehindtwosmiles.com/2019/09/10/to-the-mama-who-just-received-her-childs-cleft-diagnosis
• Mom has also struggled a bit getting used to photos of cleft babies, and have started following the account and hashtag #cleftcuties on Instagram. This has helped me acclimate to seeing cleft babies as normal, dynamic kiddos instead of my brain getting stuck on just that gap in their lip. And there are some adorable little ones on there! Folks also sometimes share their "forever smile" stories about surgery and recovery, which has been helpful for me to learn and normalize.
• The New York Times recently published an article called “What Different-Looking People Would Like You to Know Before You Stare” which has some great food for thought around all physical differences https://nyti.ms/2OQBkg7

As always, thank you for being part of our life and our little one's journey. We are incredibly grateful for your love and support, and we're excited to introduce little one to his many loving supporters when he decides to join us.

Love,

Mom, Dad and BuMP

First Afghan road trip! Panjshir

From the airport, our awesome host Ayoob brought us to his house and showed us essentially and entire floor of the house that the family of 15 had cleared for us to take residence in. The generosity of this family over the past weeks cannot be understated- they have insisted on treating us with such hospitality as both treasured guests and family, it has been quite humbling.

Our second day in the country, out host had some family business to take care of in their home province, we were fortunate enough to ride along on a very beautiful road trip to Panjshir.





























































































































































































































































































































































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What to wear... in Afghanistan

In my preparation for traveling to Afghanistan, clothing was my biggest concern. I am nowhere near a fashionista, and Seattle is a perfect fit for me in that throwing on a skirt is seen as "really fancy." However, I know that women's attire is not only an aesthetic concern in Afghanistan, but also a cultural, religious and relational sign of respect and acknowledgement. In researching what the heck a western woman is to wear, the googling* I did found advice that came down to:

• Cover your hair
• Cover your legs, ankles and as much of your arms/wrists as you can handle
• Cover your butt (twice- pants plus a dress/ long jacket)
• Gloves is taking it too far (these days)

I was also incredibly lucky to speak with Julia Bolz, an amazing advocate for girls education in Afghanistan for the last decade. She was not only helpful with general advice, but insisted on giving me two outfits that had been handmade for her- a long and short sleeved salwar kameez (long top over pants).

Salwar kameez #1

Salwar kameez #2

In the past three days, I've started fine-tuning my understanding of women's garb. Granted, I'm spending most of my time with men, but when we've driven through public spaces like markets I've been watching carefully to get a better picture of how to blend in. From the airport, I wore jeans and a long sleeved jacket (that didn't cover my butt- agh!) with a headscarf, but changed into a long-sleeved top with a long tunic top over it for our secondary adventures to the attorney general of Panjshir at his used-car lot (another story for another day). The salwar kameez are very light and cool, so I'll likely need them to stay healthy and upright in Mazar where it was 125 degrees last week. For Kabul, I'm noticing that more modern dresses and pants that walk the line between fitted and loose are common and help me blend in better. Learning something every day!

Jeans + dress + shirt + scarf. 

*References:
http://www.about-afghanistan.com/afghanistan-clothing.html
https://transitionland.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/what-to-wear-in-kabul/
http://www.journeywoman.com/ccc/ccc-a.html
http://www.afghanistan-culture.com/afghanistan-women-clothing.html
http://www.coyotecommunications.com/travel/afghanistan/women.html

Dust off your traveling shoes!

*Posting out of order now... silly internet/logistics!

So, it's time to get on the road again! After a rush visa, many phone calls to Afghan airlines and a lot of planning and hours of hubs answering questions from "is there always toilet paper?" to "what the heck do I wear?", the plan has been made.

In the spirit of the adventuring family from which I come, and in light of the great work hubs has been doing in Afghanistan for years the time has finally come for me to visit the country as well! The country began granting tourist visas in January of 2015, so I'm excited to jump into this adventure and see more of this country that has become so close to my husband's heart.

Our plan is to spend 3 weeks between Kabul (right center of the country) and Mazar-e-sharif (upper center near the border of Tajikistan) meeting up with friends and contacts of hubs', and for me to reach out to many of the awesome education nonprofits that are building schools and working on girls education. It's going be a wild trip, for sure, but I'm excited!

Khoda hafez- (we/I/you) go with god!

Up up and away... And away... And away...

Well, our trip is off with a bang! There was the expected flurry of activity in the last day or two before the takeoff, and with the exception of leaving a laptop charger at home which required a quick return all went smoothly.

Seattle to Amsterdam was a 10 hour flight with not a lot of sleep, which resulted in a bit of slap-happiness and the picture below. We'd been in the Amsterdam airport before, and its European/Nordic charm was comforting- tulips and blue-and-white porcelain patterns on every wall.



The next step was Amsterdam to Dubai, where Ben and I both tried to leave our passport and phone (respectively) on the flight but recovered them immediately, praise be. Dubai airport is the ultimate culture clash. Bikinis are displayed in shops as women in headscarves and full burqa walk by. We saw a young bearded hipster-looking guy in tank top and short shorts walking hand in hand with a woman in black covering from tip to toe. Traditional architectural patterns and prayer rooms sit along side flashing neon duty free signs.



Shiny glass and chrome reside next to palm trees and historic-looking arched windows.


Separate prayer/mosque rooms by gender.


Dubai's kitschy souvenirs with my derby bag.


Flights to cities I've never heard of! Next trip, Thiruvananthapuram?


Immediately upon arrival we walked between a Pinkberry and Hagen Daaz- there seems to be a great love of ice cream here.


Our first view into the airport on arriving.


Winston-sponsored smoking lounge right next to the fancy pastry shop, so well ventilated you couldn't tell anyone was smoking.

We spent 12 hours in the KLM lounge and sleeping where we could, then boarded our final flight to Kabul. On the plane, we walked to the commoner seats only to check out boarding passes and discover by some fluke we got upgraded to business class- a first in my life! This photo captures at once my first foray into wearing a headscarf, my happy surprise at the upgrade and a hilarious photobomb from a fellow passenger.


For now, I'll enjoy reclining massage chairs, hot towels, a keypad operated personal TV and really tasty food- lamb and rice, garbanzo salad, syrupy donuts, mango juice and anise seeds "for digestion." The travel gods are with us this far, knock on wood!

Takeoff: 6p Monday 6/14 Seattle
Final arrival: 2p Wednesday 6/16 Kabul (exiting the airport at 3p)
Total travel time: 34 hrs?

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