So, the fabulous news is that I have a) acquired summer work and b) almost completely navigated through house negotiations to arrive at a sale. And of course, after months of waiting and watching, above events happened within a day of each other.
I have discovered that the lovely hubs and I seem to have different processing for future stressful/intense events. I internalize immediately and begin my freakout, tapering off somewhere right before or shortly after said event. For example, deployment. Orders issued about three months before the move: instant Shannon implosion. I was still functional and mostly normal but it only took a tiny trigger to send me into worry mode- sappy movies, terrible commercials, a particularly nice day... bizarrely almost anything. It has been more or less steady suck until about a month after the deployment began and while things are still not fun, I feel like I've already put all my stress and worst-case-scenario thinking in and have exhausted my stash of worry. The recent bad news of Koran burnings has caused some stress, but honestly I've already been through most of it already. Which is kind of nice.
On the other hand, it seems that the hubs does less of this pre-projected worrying. Not to make a value judgement on it or say he's not aware of roughly the same things that have freaked me out for months, but it seems to be dealt with on a more case-by-case basis. Perhaps this is an evolutionary advantage- if we both hit the stress-ball stage at the same time, who is there to be reassuring? I find this pattern emerges in most of our major decisions, and in some ways I find it amusing- "Oh, I've stopped having nightmares about buying the wrong house and being trapped forever? About time for hubs to start voicing some concerns." I find it quite amusing now that I'm calming down overall.
Anyone else find this a trend in your partnerships?
Vocab of the day:
Military: CIP = Community Involvement Plan
5 years ago
Hi Shannon,
ReplyDeleteHow did the house buying go? Where did you end up living?
James and I are just starting down that road seriously and finding it a bit overwhelming.
Jana
Thanks Jana! House buying is looking good, but I'm trying not to count unhatched chickens quite yet. We should chat about house buying sometime!
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