15 minutes

I shouldn't leave for the airport for another 15 minutes or I'll just get there and pace and then have to pay for parking, but that's how close he is. After a year of separation, a year of skyping and gchat and facebook messages that cut off midsentence, after a year of buying a house, moving to a new city, a year of triumphs and heartbreak and loneliness and growth, he'll be back.

I thought the last two weeks should be a constant cotton candy cloud of elation but they've been far more complex than I expected- joy, excitement, anxiety that we will have changed significantly, nervousness that he won't like the house, a million billion buzzing worries from not remembering how to cook for two to him suddenly being disappointed that my career hasn't taken off in his absence ..  and yet tonight I'm just excited. Thrilled. Overjoyed. Ready for the clutching in my chest to be released. Ready to cede half the bed, half the closet space, half the bathroom counter. So very ready to be together. Which means I've packed tissues to spare.

Two more minutes.... ok, I'll go pace.

Scratchy New Year

Good riddance. Yesterday pretty much my entire family was hit with a rough bout of what appears to have been food poisoning. Today was better but most of us were still weak and wobbly, though sadly my sister and her family had to travel home yesterday and my brother had to get on a plane today. I mostly laid in bed pathetically trying to reserve strength for the nearly decade-long tradition of high school friends' party, the reason I book my Christmas flights to extend through the new year.

Ewwww hives- even my ear is swollen!

Well, after a day of resting up, planning how to skype the hubs in from Kuwait (he's en route home for real!!) and watching the snow pour down all day and hoping it wouldn't prevent driving.... I woke up from my "nap" at 2 am scratching newly erupted hives to a phoneful of "where are you?" messages.

2012, I am done with you. Although I learned some valuable lessons about independence and the like, I feel like tonight was an appropriate cap to a rough year.

I'll definitely keep these lessons and remember what this year has done to shape me and all that, but I'm ready to be done with it. Hubs returns in less than a week, and I'm optimistic for what may be ahead.