15 minutes

I shouldn't leave for the airport for another 15 minutes or I'll just get there and pace and then have to pay for parking, but that's how close he is. After a year of separation, a year of skyping and gchat and facebook messages that cut off midsentence, after a year of buying a house, moving to a new city, a year of triumphs and heartbreak and loneliness and growth, he'll be back.

I thought the last two weeks should be a constant cotton candy cloud of elation but they've been far more complex than I expected- joy, excitement, anxiety that we will have changed significantly, nervousness that he won't like the house, a million billion buzzing worries from not remembering how to cook for two to him suddenly being disappointed that my career hasn't taken off in his absence ..  and yet tonight I'm just excited. Thrilled. Overjoyed. Ready for the clutching in my chest to be released. Ready to cede half the bed, half the closet space, half the bathroom counter. So very ready to be together. Which means I've packed tissues to spare.

Two more minutes.... ok, I'll go pace.