Just a dream?

I'm doing ok. Ups and downs. This is I-swear-on-my-life a verbatim transcript of a conversation I had tonight at with an another army spouse at a derby practice:

me: you just started derby too?

tattooed mom of 3: yes, I can barely get out of the house with my husband and kids though

me: wow, now I feel like a slacker, I don't even have a husband around to distract me

tm03: oh, he's deployed huh? And you have no kids?

me: no

no pets?

me: no

tmo3: damn, you really are all alone

Which was a bit intense, but helped me realize I'm still kind of doing the "If I wait long enough, this won't be real, right? My derby team and Korea friends and husband will all just come back because this is a dream." Ironically enough I realized I have been playing Nelly's "Just a Dream" for like, weeks now. Denial much? Even with all the job and house decisions swirling around, I think I'm still hoping to wake up before anything gets too real.

Was supposed to get video call with the hubs tonight but it was raining there so internet was mostly gone. We did a little google chat about which and if to buy houses. This is absolute crazylife. He is apparently very bored over there since the majority of people are leaving in a month so nobody's bothering to show him around. Sometimes this whole thing feels normal, and others I'm convinced I'm on crazy pills not to be in a padded room yet. Ah well. Found a cool online group for spouses of deployed peeps, and they all post equally insane things that make me feel better like, "We thought it would be great to give our child a sibling during his 2-week deployment leave. Now I'm pregnant and cranky and have 4 months left before he comes back. What the HELL were we thinking?" At least I don't have an alien living inside me.

Vocab of the day:
Military: DEH= Don't Expect Help (ok, maybe not really a military term...)