A friend loves at all times, and a (sister) is born for adversity

Proverbs 17:17, proof that good friends are timeless, crucial and what get us through.

Quality friend time= 27.43
Confusion/chaos/frustration/suck= 0.5

Everything from sharing ridiculous youtube videos, trading job frustrations, wrestling with big issues or just sharing funny stories, consolation or support are the things that I already miss the most about moving. The amazing thing is that sometimes these people can be of entirely different histories, ideologies, nationalities, and personalities, but by just listening to each other the way ahead seems lighter. Friends can be family, spouses, frenemies or a random stranger on the bus who is willing to listen.

Kudos to those who are good to their friends and those who are kind to strangers.

Vocab of the day:
Korean: 친구 = friend
Military: IFF= Identification, Friend or Foe

Don't come knocking...

Sitting at the airport... commence blog down in 50 minutes and counting.

For the joy of skiing and family and friends, I'll be incommunicado this weekend. Kudos to the lovely desk lady at Frontier who re-booked me for free after a light rail fail.

There are times when all you need is a break, whatever form that's in. A glass of wine, a long run, a candlelit bath, a vacation, whatever. Hopefully any fool reading this will find time this weekend to do a little of break time.


Vocab of the day:
Korean: 휴가 = vacation
Military: AWOL= away without leave

Brilliant.

So, although I'm still new to this (not yet broken the 2 month boundary), there are some things I've learned about marriage.

Plus:

• automatic date for events short of the really wild gender-specific ones
  
• eventual fading of the internal "who likes me?" voice in the coupley sense
• friends with benefits. or I suppose spouse with benefits
• partner for the hard stuff in life (and the good stuff=)
  
• snuggle buddy for movies and lazy Sundays
  
• *unconditional love and mush and stuff
  

Questionable: (not necessarily bad! just different)

• another person to schedule/plan around- emotions, ideas, careers
  
• learning to communicate, live, be around another person a lot
• legal/logistical stuff- insurance, taxes, records, bank accounts
  
• an additional extended family
  

I think I've managed to effectively void most of the immediately visible pluses by living across the country. Why was that a good idea?


Vocab of the day:
Korean: 배우자 = spouse
Military: Sponsor= military spouse's relationship to the civilian spouse

Musical ponderings = less blogging

Behind but not feeling bloggy. Sorry, y'all.

However, today the kindly Apple folks outfitted me with a newly-cased and wire-fray-free Macbook and swapped me out for a brand new iPhone (hooray for warantees). I'm currently trying to connect my keyboard and my Mac and the driver/MIDI situation might defeat me for the night. So I leave you with one of my inspirations...

Imogen Heap's "Earth"

Vocab of the day:
Korean: 음악 = music
Military: T&D = training and development

Ode to Seattle

In a conversation with a friend I tonight realized I'm between being pissed that I don't get to see my husband for three months (nearly a new record, even for the two of us) and grieving that I've just gotten to feeling comfortable in Seattle and having to leave.

Thusly, tonight's installation will be (no, I'll spare you my sappy love poems) a list of the beautiful and wonderful things I will miss about Seattle. In no particular order:

• My kitty (anyone want a slightly sweet and slightly crazed little beast? Army says no go) also viewable here!
  
• The ocean
• Clear days when you can see Mt. Rainer and the needle at the same time. Bonus points for sunset/sunrise at the same time
  
• My two roommates (yes, I only have one now but they both still get the label)
• My fantastic, amazing, wonderful friends
• Having figured out a transit system, more or less
• UW
• Cherry blossoms
  
• The UW gym
• The library system. Le sigh.
• Having figured out a grocery store, dry cleaner's, hair salon, etc etc
• Than Brothers Pho (and pho dates with Beth!)
• All the delicious coffee and tea
• Belly dancing in the Fremont Solstice Parade 
• Movie/TV girls nights, wine nights, poker nights, crazy nights out
• My apaaaaaaaaaartment.... (a la Ben Kweller)

I have to be missing a bunch... I'll get back to that. Other suggestions?

Vocab of the day:
Korean:  고양이 = cat
Military: Base, Post=home

Honestly?

Ok, weekend break from writing was nice, but back to it! We're now at week 9 before shipping off into the wild blue yonder, and it's growing nigh time to schedule the military movers and truly start thinking about all this stuff. Last medical appointments, computer checkups, anything that might be more difficult on the other side. I've also decided that included in this "before we go" checklist should be some amount of shoes and clothes acquisition as my sister has told me that non-Korean size clothing (read: above size 10) costs extra there, and I've had to buy and ship her shoes at least twice before.

To that end, I've been enjoying the after-Christmas sales and found some delightful items that will be well used (workout pants with pockets! cocktail-length dresses for military balls! suede boots!) at grad-school compatible rates. After getting my trusty MacBook checked at the Apple store tonight, I had a few extra minutes before class and wandered into H&M to see if there were any cheap goodies.

I love that most of the folks who work at H&M look much more like they should be advising on fashion than say, advising on education policy, though tonight's dressing room attendant looked like her goal was straight up Lady Gaga. All sorts of black sequin layers, matching neon pink lipstick and eyeshadow, one of those weird tiny fedora hats with the birdcage veil and then inexplicably Halloweeny orange-and-black striped tights with crazy platforms. And I'm sorry to say, a noticeable lisp. Alltogether an interesting package, but even more special was her unique gift for feedback. I had grabbed a crazy pair of shiny grey satin pants off the sale rack (who can resist a $10 tag?) and was debating how insane it would be to get the more-than-fitted beasts (of course, no other sizes on the sale rack) and stepped out of the dressing room to ask pink-and-orange-Gaga's opinion.

"Hey, can I get a second opinion on these?"
"Can I be honetht?"
"Please do. Are they way too tight?"
"They make your legths look like thausage cathingth."
"Huh. Uh, thanks."

Now, I did ask her to be honest. True, true and true. And I do appreciate Ms. Thing not just trying to sell whatever crap the crazy customer tries to squeeze into. But wow. Problem 1: I am concerned about the logic on this one. Either my legs look like sausages or the pants are sausage casings... but my legs looking like casings would be quite a feat that I'm not sure even my legs are up to. Problem 2: There was an easy out- just say "Yup, too tight." It's a moment where I both want to laugh until my lungs ache and call her manager for being not just a fashion nazi, but a rude one. Regardless, thanks to Ladytasticness for helping me save money this evening. And for keeping me from looking like sausage (casings?).

Vocab of the day:
Korean: 재미있은= funny
Military: AARAD= attack assessment radar

The story of military stories

Well, took a day off yesterday but wrote elsewhere to my boo. I think the roughly daily goal is a good one and the writing is a good habit- I had a summary to write for work today and it quite fell from my fingertips with little effort.

On to today's quandry: military stories, including dramas, series, books, true stories, the works. I am still early in my collecting of military stories, but of those I've amassed so far, there's a very similar setup: range of women (sometimes men) who are married to various stations in the military from various places, now all forced to do this strange military thing. Usual characters:

• The high ranking wife. Generally older, caring and understanding, but strong. All about the hubby's career and can be cutthroat if something threatens said career.
• Somebody slightly diverse. An ethnic minority, military husband, somebody other than the white women that overrun the military spouse ranks. This person acts mostly like everyone else, but every now and again reminds us that they're diverse (a product of the authors or the military? who knows.)
  
• A spouse of a serviceperson with an intriguing, dangerous job. The spouse is an intelligence agent, secret mission specialist, or something that requires him(her) to become a royal jerk "due to the stress." Wifey (hubby) puts up with this to "serve their country."
• Spouse who used to work, loved their work and now is told he/she shouldn't. This can also be all characters.
  
• The wife with a dark side. Hubby is abusive, she does drugs, they have money problems, she has an affair from the past that won't go away, or he a kid that she pretends isn't his. She usually does this mostly on her own but may let in a few of our other leading characters, strengthening their camaraderie in shared secretiveness.
• Poor, low ranking wife. Usually loud, savvy and very loveable. The story gets higher plotmarks if she married the man after knowing him, say, 30 minutes.
  

Some of the characters can be combined- say the abusive husband in special forces or the high ranking wife with a secret. But in some combination they always seem to be there. It is usually through this last character, the downhome, endearingly ignorant wife (I've yet to find a story where this character is a husband) that the culture of the military is explained to the untrained audience. This wife makes most of the etiquette and protocol faux pas possible without actually getting their husband dismissed, but because of this unknowing rebellion the audience empathizes with the plight of the poor unknowing woman fed to the rabble of those who follow the rules and like it.

There's some sense in structuring a story this way- the audience is let in on how things should be from different perspectives, shown what's acceptable and what's not, and given a character to root for regardless of your personal views toward the military. My only question is- am I missing stories where relatively educated folks grapple with the customs and rules of the military? Quite likely this is just my bias, but it would be a helpful parable of even a slightly different type of protagonist. It's not because our protypical heroine isn't educated that she fumbles through her introduction to the military, it's because it's a different and sometimes confusing world, regardless of where you've been before.
 Watch out, maybe I'll write that story someday.

Vocab of the day:
Korean: 연극 = drama
Military: FOW= family of weapons (few acronyms having to do with the person-based family, but this seemed appropriate)

Congratulations, you live... (where?!)

So as I have learned should be expected, the joyous military has changed things up on us yet again. This, not so drastic as "You'll likely be living in your current region. No wait... make that Asia.." but while my dears was expecting to get a chance to rank preferences within Korea and be able to enter that I had a job and hopefully influence the placement, instead others in the country have their placement without entering preferences and we have naught. This is likely because that getting married thing delays his paperwork, and by triangulating where others are and the logic that's been heard 'round the water cooler, we are able to cobble together a few possibilities that might emerge in the next week or so. It has been thus for every move and assignment the hubs has had so far -- thinking one thing, planning accordingly, then SURPRISE!, something different-- and all signs point to the fact that this is just the way it is.

I'm pretty amazed that such a huge and largely effective organization manages to confuse fairly smart folks on a regular basis by being either mysterious or straight up silent on such trivial things as, say, moving your life for the next few years. I'm sometimes even more amazed that the servicefolk and their others/families get used to it and don't seem to be all that perturbed or worried about it. I do not mean to imply that it's a cruel scheme to keep the good folks serving in fear, confusion or anything else. But somehow, the expected can never be expected, even when you're something like a lawyer. A testament to either the patriotism, the benefits or both. I suppose building an information system to keep people abreast might seem unnecessary when the current system seems to work, but if I had my druthers, a leg up and some spare time...

Vocab of the day:
Korean: 여행 = travel
Military: PCS= Permanent Change of Station (move)

Oh FICO

Buying an apartment with someone on the other coast is a bit of a chore, as is this goal to write every day. Even when plenty of things tend to happen, I'm not in the habit of clearing time to ponder and put it in writing. That might be the most valuable thing to come of this, though I hope I don't kill all interest with my ramblings before the clarity comes.

However, today I also realized how fortunate I am to be among those who can trust my partner with literally just about anything. Today we were g-chatting away our savings, future earnings and how our mortgage payment would go and it only gave me mild palpitations to consider the magnitude of this undertaking but hadn't a concern in sharing my (abominable) credit score or making plans that look to last the next 30 years. (Hint to the kids, don't let an insane job or anything else keep you from paying EVERYTHING on time. Real talk.)

And now, 2 am comes and the gym beckons at 7. Adieu for Monday.

Vocab of the day:
Korean: 아파트 = apartment
Military: ASAP = as soon as possible

Post-holiday post

A close and brilliant friend in law school informed me over the break that I was slacking severely in blog posting, and if she has time to tell me this, it must be quite bad. So a few reflections from the break for your procrastination/browsing pleasure...

I'm resolving to write every day in 2010, either for my own eyes or here. We shall see what comes of that.

One thing that became very clear throughout the first married holiday is that marriage seems to flip a switch in parents' heads. Somehow in our one month engagement and quasi shotgun wedding, the hubs and I went from children to part of the married club. It was a series of small indicators that shaped this realization- fewer questions asked, more of the "us big people" tone and conversation. I don't think these things were done consciously (other than having a room together, thankfully), but a definite change hath settled over the families.

Well, tomorrow starts the first day of my last quarter. Only 10 weeks until classes will be done, thesis will be written/published, condo packed up (and perhaps bought), and flights will be arranged for Korea. Onward!

Vocab of the day:
Korean: Christmas= 크리스마스
Military: Close of business= COB

And a delightful "Best music of 2009" mashup: